Resolutions and Photography

HELLO there blogging world!

As it happens I had this idealistic plan to be more productive and creative in 2014. But guess what, I've started the year with a chest infection. It's such a brilliant start begin bed-ridden!

As part of what I'm calling my "Productive 2014" I want to push myself to be aware to new creative ideas and give more things a go. Not just necessarily creative aspects but lifestyle wise as well, so as you can imagine being ill has halted my slightly. However, I did see this as an opportunity to get showcase some of my own creative creations! It's not too much of a leap, but putting my work online is a starting step and we all need one somewhere. 

Just a side note, i don't claim to be a professional photographer, nor do I claim to know everything about it. I just thought it would be nice to show work that I've previously created over the past few months inside and outside of my education. 

Lastly, if you did enjoy these I do also have a  FLICKR where I do have some more work including sketchbook work as well, it was created for my application to Universities but I may as well get some use out of it now. I will be updating it in the near future.

Until next time byeeee

Confidence

So today I went to film what would have been my first YouTube video, I've found it to be daunting but I woke up today thinking why not?

So I set up my camera, got dressed and started. When I turned the camera on I just had a spill of stage fright. I didn't know what I was going to do, but mostly I thought to myself "I'm not good enough for this, too fat and too ugly". That's kinda shit to tell yourself by any standards. I just then proceeded to turn off the camera and sit in my room, now that a few minutes have passed i've thought it's really crappy that something as simply as the anxiety I get will stop me giving something a go. I like to watch youtubers, they always seem to exude confidence, I wish that was me. I wish I could just sit in front of a camera and talk. I don't just mean confidence regarding making a video, I mean with most things in life. Anxiety really does stop you doing things you wish you could. I'm going to university later this year (hopefully) and I worry about what i'll be like there, will I be able to make fiends if my confidence is non-existent? 

To anyone out there suffering with anxiety, I hope that you can understand what I mean. It's hard to explain how you feel as though when you do want to take a jump and do something new it's as if someones holding you back, the worst thing it's yourself holding you back. I wish I knew how to deal with it better, the Youtber 'Zoella' did a video about it a while ago. For this I do look up to her, having anxiety and being able to make a successful career for herself. I think that's what I'm most scared of. That this will one day bleed into my career and stop me doing what I want. By the way it's filmmaking and acting if anybody out there wants to know haha. But isn't that just right? That what I want to be when I'm older requires probably the biggest amount of confidence and power to not look at yourself and feel disappointed. 

It's the first dat of 2014, I had made some New Years Resolutions, like loosing weight, read more etc. The ones that you feel that you have to say when asked what your resolutions are because you don't want to sound like you have nothing planned. But after today I think I have realised what I want to change in 2014. My confidence. 

Sorry if this post seems quite self-centered but sometimes writing down your thoughts is the best medicine. Also I want to show that this blog will be a reflection of me, so what I'm thinking or doing in life. But also that I'd like for people to have palace to feel connected to someone. Think of me as a best friend. Finishing this post now before I truly do make a fool of myself.

i'll leave you with this picture which basically sums up 2013 for me. BYEEE

Yes. This is 2013 in one photo and in one word. Crazy.